Why is it just not happening

What the hell is wrong with me, we've been trying for #2 for so long now and nothing im so tired of trying it's not fun anymore , we never even tried for our first it just happened! 
I get so depressed and blame myself every month I get my period ! 
I can't do it anymore I hate this I just want another child so my son have a brother or sister before he gets to old! I feel so sorry for all you other women trying for your first and no luck! I wish you all baby dust
I never realized how hard an emotional this could actually be.