Another month, another bfn

I'm 12 dpo, and thought I had all the symptoms, so I took a HPT. Big fat negative. It gets so discouraging. We've been trying for 9 months. I got pregnant a week or so before Thanksgiving and lost our little angel at about 8 weeks. I'm so tired of the tears each month. I keep checking the test....just in case. Still negative. This is so not fun.