Has anyone ever dealt with anything similar? I need advice please.
So this might end up a little long.
I had my first baby at 19 and at the time his father and I weren't together. When I found out I was pregnant by him I told him he didn't have to be with me but I would just want him to be there for his child. He went on to telling me that he wanted to be with me and be there for his baby. At the time we were both just graduating high school and he was very immature as I was too. While I was about 6 months pregnant I began to hear rumors about him being flirtatious with other people. I would confront him and ask him about it and he'd say no. So to cause less drama for myself and less pain I wouldn't believe anything I didn't see for myself and would brush off all the rumors. (Keep in mind throughout all our previous relationship before I got pregnant he never cheated on me whatsoever, and we had been together 2 years before I got pregnant.) after I had my baby, I did come across some messages and comments on social media of him calling other girls gorgeous and inviting them to places he'd be and he would just say it was nothing more than an innocent gesture. I found nothing innocent about it and immediately flipped and it made me feel like I wasn't pretty or good enough for him so I started feeling ugly, and like I was worthless and I'd toss it in his face every chance I got and started feeling more and more resentful towards him as time progressed. Fast forward to 2 years later (now) I still feel like crap and betrayed by him. I decided to stay with him and he has changed a lot and proved himself to me but I still can't brush it off. I cry, I get angry at him and take it out on him and call him a cheater constantly. Its gotten so bad to the point where i believe my own thoughts and I feel so paranoid when he goes out on his own. I just want to be able to move forward with our lives and forget about this. Please can any of you give me some advice on how I can make things better for myself. I've seeked out counseling and it doesn't seem to work :/ please don't be rude. I just need some advice.