Babymoma drama!!!

Me and my husband have been together for 3 1/2 years now. This is my first relationship where there's a baby involved. Anyways, when me and him 1st got together I had no knowledge he had a kid til weeks after calling it official. Instantly I bonded with the baby (7mnts old). A few months passed an 3 months later I decided to call my mom off his phone an a Text message caught my attention.. To his babymoma saying "I want us to get back together an be a family" (along with a family photo) I confronted him, his excuse was "oh I was just telling her what she wanted to hear so I can see my baby". Well I let it slide that time. Then on the baby's 1st birthday they had a party for her, he was told that I wasn't invited and for him to come alone. Yea it hurt me that he didn't stand up for me, yes I was lefted home. When he got back the house phone rung, I answered one as he picked up the main line. It was his BM telling "him so are you going to accept my son" (not his) an he replied " yes I'm going to have too". I also found out he went out to eat with her thru his mom he claimed It was so he could see his baby...now he's texting her all the time when I ask to see them their deleted even when he calls her he deleted the call log. He's also paying her daycare bill and her sons too... Yet she don't allow him to see her because she wants him back and doest like me due to that fact. He has to sneak an get her from his moms house. And kisses her ass about every thing, its like what she says goes And me on the other hand doesn't fucking matter. Am I selfish or should I feel this way.