Abstaining

Claire • Happily married to a loving husband. Not TTC yet! Jesus Freak. 💕
Okay, let me start off with please don't be judgemental. We all put our makeup on one eye at a time lol. So my boyfriend and I recently decided after a year and some change of fooling around that we need to stop and wait for marriage. Well, quite frankly, I'm miserable lol. I'm cranky, I have no patience, and I feel very far away from him. We aren't engaged and it most likely won't be for a while. When I changed my birth control option to abstenience, I felt like someone hit me in the chest. He seems to be doing fine, but I'm so irritable and sad and just generally feeling terrible. Should it be like this? Ladies who are waiting/waited, is it really hard? Ladies who aren't/didnt, do you regret it? What do you all think? Am I crazy? What should I do?