Morning Sickness still

Frances
Im 15w and 2d and i still have nauseas, vomits, feeling ugly, tired of everything. Im not quite enjoying this pregnancy and make feels so sad all the time, with both of my boys i was fine at 12 wks. The med fir nausea get me constipaded, and i have to use an enema and Colace every 4 days cuz is the only way to go. Is been a horribles 15 weeks of my life 😭😭😭, today is my gender reveal party and i always have the feeling that it was a girl and now i just dont know, i really want a girl cuz is my last baby, everyone is telling me to stay calm and be ok but i just cant. No baody knows how much i want a girl and my hope now are too low. I Know that if its a boy im going to love him no matter what but im going to always wonder what if? Sorry for all of this, i dont have many friends to tell how i really feel.