Read this and found it to be true and funny.

"You'll change your mind."

I change my mind about things like whether I want to splurge on an exotic vacation or an eleventh pair of leopard print pumps, not things like creating a human being for which I owe a lifelong responsibility.

"But who will take care of you when you're old?"

The same people in the nursing home your kids are going to deposit you at.

"Don't you want to leave a legacy?"

Yes, and I can do this by means other than genetic transmission, but thank you for your concern over my sense of life satisfaction.

"But child birth is such a miracle!"

Is it though? Countless billions of people have managed to do this over the course of hundreds of thousands of years. "Miracles" are, by definition, a bit more infrequent than that. The immaculate conception of Jesus, if you're into that sort of thing, is a miracle. The average accidental knock-up is not.

"You will never understand what real love is until you hold your first child in your arms."

Well that's a real bummer to all of the friends, family members, and romantic partners I've ever professed love to. Sorry guys, IT WAS ALL A LIE.

"But children bring such joy into your life!"

Not according to every mother I know who starts off sentences with, "Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but…" Now don't get me wrong, I don't doubt that the love between parent and child is real and profound, but I also don't think that particular brand of "joy" is a universal cup of tea. You know what brings me joy? The sweet sound of silence from not having any kids.

"Having children changes your life!"

It does! But who said that's a good thing? A devastating house fire also changes your life, yet no one is pressuring me into arson.

"You'll want one eventually when your biological clock starts ticking."

Well my biological clock is apparently broken because I'm already past my breeding prime and have yet to hear a peep out of the thing.

"But your child will love you unconditionally!"

No, your dog loves you unconditionally. A child will only love you unconditionally until about age 12 before he or she becomes a hormone-raging, money-sucking sociopath.

"Why not?"

Time. Money. Energy. Freedom. Phonophobia. Shall I go on?

-taken from Marie Claire