I'm not talking to my dad, or his family, and it's been this way for nearly a year. My dad was "emotionally incestuous" (a term I picked up from an article where parents have turned their child into an equal, friend and/or partner)

His family lived in a different state and he never really made friends or dated for the first 16 years or so of my life. So during those years, I was responsible for keeping him company. At first it was normal because I was young and I liked being a daddy's girl but as I grew things got weird. Fe, when I was transitioning from baths to showers, he told me my mom instructed him to watch me shower to make sure I was cleaning myself thoroughly. I was about 11 and it was uncomfortable to me that he was willing to see me naked. He and I lived in the house alone so I had no one to protect me if I ever was violated so I had to speak up myself and tell him no. He would make me cook his meals and wash, fold and put up his clothes as if I was his wife. He would take me on what seemed to be couples vacations with his friends because he was single. He would force me to sit next to him on the couch so he could wrap his arm around me even though I didn't want to. He would put me on punishment when I visited relatives during my time with my mom because "if I wasn't with my mom I needed to be with him."

He got married when I was about 17 and I thought his wife would entertain him so I could be off the hook but then he wanted me to tag along with them on dates or he wanted both of us to sit on the couch as he wrapped his arms around us.

I had become more and more vocal about the things he did to make me uncomfortable but he'd guilt trip me or stop me from hanging out with friends.

When I was 18 we got into an argument about his controlling ways and he beat me. He choked me as I went in and out of conciousness, slapped me, body slammed me, etc. I was 5'1 100lbs and he's 6'4 250. I called my relatives for help but nothing was really done. I stayed with family until they eventually sent me back to him. Since he's usually quiet either no one believed me or didn't want to stir up drama. I was forced to get along with him because I was still in high school and had to live there.

Fast forward, I'm now 24 and I'm

Married with a child. I continued to have a relationship with him because I learned to deal with him and push my discomfort aside for the most part. I tried to let him see my child but he constantly crossed boundaries. He seemed as if he couldn't be Around my child without touching her even if I told him to put her down. He'd come to my house 4-5 times a wk 4/5 hours a day to spend time with me and my daughter and if I said he couldn't come over he'd call constantly until I gave in or my grandma would call on his behalf so he could get his way. It seems like he wanted to cling to my daughter how he did me and I cut him off. Now I'm pregnant and I'm worried this new child will have him wanting to be back in my life and I don't think I can handle it. I can't continue to fight back the feelings of fear and hurt. I don't want mom around me or my children! My family guilt trips me about not interacting with him so I'm conflicted on if I'm wrong for kicking him out my life!

Sorry so long!

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