Things that happen if you are the sensitive one in the relationship. đ˘đđŚđđ
1. If your partner is mad, you always think it has something to do with you.
Maybe your partner isnât answering your text messages in a timely matter or is being particularly quiet during dinner.
Itâs probably just because s/he had a rough day at work, or took a hard exam, or fought with a family member, or something else that doesnât have anything to do with you. Still, you canât help but think youâre the cause of your partnerâs anger.
Even if your partner tells you why s/he is upset, you canât help but take it all way too personally.
This causes you to go through your entire day and wonder what exactly you did wrong: Did you say something rude? Did you post something unsettling on social media? What did you do?
2. You know all the details of your partnerâs life, including things youâve only been told once and things you notice on your own.
Sensitive people like you are good at noticing details in all aspects of life, so when it comes to your relationship â where your partner is your main focus â youâre even better at it.
You remember the easy things, like where your partner is from and what school s/he graduated from, but you also remember smaller details: your partnerâs favorite book, the name of your partnerâs childhood best friend, your partnerâs shirt size and most-used brand of cologne or perfume.
In fact, any detail you mightâve only heard about once will become permanently etched in your memory.
You also notice the most subtle changes in your partnerâs appearance (Is that a new shirt?) and mood (Are you upset about something?). Youâre so hyperaware of your partnerâs every move, itâs difficult for you not to notice.
3. Itâs difficult for you to make decisions in the relationship.
Itâs a challenge for you to choose what movie you want to watch or where you want to go for dinner.
This is because youâre hyperaware of the details of lots of possible outcomes, so you know your partner will get bored if you watch âSex and the Cityâ or âTransformers,â despite how badly you want to.
You also know your partner doesnât love Italian food, even though youâve been craving a ravioli dish all week.
A sensitive person like you is so constantly attuned to what your partner might also want, itâs hard for you to make a decision based on what you want. âWhat you wantâ doesnât exist anymore â only with a prediction of what your partner may want.
4. Any kind of criticism, even seemingly constructive comments, upsets you.
Because youâre a sensitive person, youâre already highly sensitive to criticism in general. Since you value your partnerâs opinion of you so much,however, his/her criticisms â even ones that may be genuinely helpful or constructive â upset you even more.
You think your partnerâs criticisms are a deep, personal attack on your very being, so you ruminate on them for a long time.
5. If you do something wrong in the relationship, itâll bother you for a really long time.
Everyone has that uncomfortable feeling of regret when s/he does something wrong, but because you feel everything very deeply, it hits you even harder.
Even if you and your partner reconciled the problem and everything seems fine, you canât help but think about it from time-to-time and assume itâs still affecting your relationship.
You just want to be the best boyfriend or girlfriend you can be, so any indication youâre straying from that makes you insecure.
Reminders of your partnerâs affection for you (see #10) will help here.
6. Your partner has seen your ugly crying face more times than you wish.
You cry a lot. Itâs just the nature of being sensitive. And your poor partner has seen your blotchy, swollen crying face far more than you wanted it to be seen by anyone, ever. Itâs embarrassing, but you canât help how easy it is to make you cry.
Youâre glad your partner still finds your face cute, though.
It makes sense your partner would see you cry the most. S/he is the person closest to you, so you feel comfortable expressing your emotions. Speaking ofâŚ
7. Youâre hyperaware of whatâs bothering you because youâre so emotionally reactive.
You are so aware of how youâre feeling at all times that when something is upsetting you, you simply canât relax.
While some people bury their feelings until they randomly explode, you have a hard time putting your emotions in the back of your mind until they just go away.
Dealing with this, however, is difficult. As sensitive people tend to want to avoid uncomfortable situations, you constantly go back and forth between wanting to tell your partner how you feel (which might create an uncomfortable situation) and not wanting to tell your partner how you feel (which would cause you to continue feeling tense).
The struggle with how exactly to deal with your feelings is real.
8. You deeply feel any emotion your partner feels.
Sensitive people are hyperaware of how their partners are feeling all the time. Even more so, because sensitive people possess such high levels of empathy, they also feel these emotions right to their cores.
If your partner is sad, youâre distraught. If your partner is happy, youâre elated. If your partner is angry, you want to punch whomever made him or her angry right in the face.
Carrying the burden of someone elseâs feelings all the time can certainly be exhausting, but youâre also strangely happy to do it.
9. Youâve been mistaken for the shy one in the relationship.
Thereâs a common misconception that sensitive people are always introverts, but this is simply not true.
In fact, 30 percent of HSPs are actually extroverts, which goes to show being sensitive and being social and outgoing are not mutually exclusive.
Sometimes, though, with your deep inner-thought processes and reflective nature, people assume youâre the shy one in your relationship.
Your brain is constantly on overdrive, analyzing how youâre feeling and what youâre thinking at all times, so sometimes itâs natural for you to retreat a little bit.
Sensitive people also donât really like to put themselves in uncomfortable situations, so your partner might assume your need to avoid conflict means youâre being timid.
In reality, you just donât want to upset anyone.
10. You always have a hunch youâre the person who loves more in the relationship.
You feel everything very deeply, so itâs only natural for you to assume you may be more emotional about the relationship than your partner.
You feel insecure if you think youâre smothering your partner too much with affection, or if you think your partner isnât giving you the same amounts of affection youâre giving.
Because itâs easy for you to feel like youâre loving more than your partner, you need constant reminders of your partnerâs love for you.
These reminders donât need to be grand gestures, though â just little somethings to let you know that youâre both on the same page.
11. You always hear the phrase, âDonât take things so personally!â⌠but you just canât help it.
You, honestly, canât even count the number of times youâve heard this. Youâre really, really trying, OK?
Stop being so critical! *Cries*
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