How do I get my husband to lose weight?

Question

My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years. When I met him he was overweight but I always had it in the back of my mind that he would lose the weight for me. Over the years I have been supportive in him trying to lose the weight but I'm so so frustrated. I have always been in shape and recently had 2 babies back to back. I put in the effort, time, pain and sweat to look this way for him and it really really hurts my feelings that he doesn't really try for me. I'm disgusted with the food he chooses to eat, amount of food he eats and the unrefined way he eats. It's affecting everything. I'm so hurt that I stay up crying at night. 
Because he's over weight I don't want to have sex with him, and now there are times I look at him and get so mad because I resent him for not trying harder. He always says he would never want to "fuck" a fatty. Well I don't want to either. The thing is he knows I feel this way and still makes minimal effort. Every time we're with others I get embarrassed because all my girlfriends have normal to healthy husbands and I'm always the one with the over weight husband. And every time we eat around other people I get embarrassed because he eats like a savage. Also when he's hungry he turns into an asshole. I don't want to feel this way about my husband. I want to be attracted to him, feel proud that he's my husband and in love but his weight is affecting everything. There are days I look at him and see his double chin or his big belly and instantly be filled with disgust. Any advice?  Only serious comments please.

Answer

I think it's kind of disgusting that you got with him and married him thinking in the back of your head that he was going to change for you! I could see feeling this way if he was slim and healthy before and let himself go when he got married but to literally enter a marriage expecting him to change is ridiculous.

Answer

I don't think your expectation that he take care of his health is unreasonable. You are focusing on his appearance but in reality the implications of his lifestyle are far worse for his health. I think that if you are working hard to maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle and set a good example for your kids then SO SHOULD HE. Who cares if he was fat when you met? Things have changed! You have kids! You're older! A marriage is a partnership and your kids need both parents to set that example. As another commenter suggested, make over your kitchen and have only healthy foods, and cook healthy meals. Maybe start a routine of a "family walk" after dinner or on the weekends ... Good luck!

Answer

My husband had some size but not too much-it was just a little pot belly. He loves food especially meat and juice. He always worked out but mostly lifting.

A few years ago he went to his Dr and he got bad news that he has high cholesterol and high blood pressure. He was on medication for both. The medication made him feel like crap. I started change up our grocery list to mostly organic and we throw all the crap in our pantry with artificial color,high fructose corn syrup,caramel color,red 40,etc and started cooking healthy meals. I joined the gym and we go together 4-5 mornings a week at 5am for an hour.
My husband lost over 60 lbs -he is now 195 at 6'1 and more sexy than ever with muscles and a lean body and I lost 50 lbs-I am now 144 at 5'10.
He is off his medication and he is really feeling great. We still hit the gym and our pantry and fridge is still the same. He always tell people "my wife changed my life"(I feel like tearing up😢)
It all starts in your kitchen-throw out all the bad bad from your fridge and pantry and start making healthier choices. Stay away from fast food joints and make your own meals.
I really feel your pain because I was in your shoes once.
Good luck!

Answer

Uh... He was that way when you met him. Why would you think you could change him. I get wanting him to be healthy, but you also sound a little shallow.

Answer

The only thing I can suggest is only have healthy foods in the house and make his food for him. Also, make him go to the dr for health reasons

Answer

Try suggesting he go to the gym with you, when you met your husband he was over weight and you still loved him enough to marry him, maybe the weight isn't the issue but it's something deeper, invite him to run and if he doesn't then you'll have to have a serious talk with him about your feelings.

Answer

You don't love this man. He is a human being, not a project.

Answer

Personally I would just tell him. Its not fair that you are maintaining the image/body he wants and he isn't giving you anything. You have been together 10yrs and I'm sure he knows to some extent. You need to put your foot down. Right now your are disgusted by basically everything he does. Its going to get to a point where you don't even want to be around and its going to hurt him. Well maybe he needs to be hurt. Some men don't learn until its gone. Not telling you to leave your husband but he has to be taught a lesson

Answer

Wow!

Answer

Deny him sex  and give him an altamadum

How do I get my husband to lose weight?

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