So ladies the dreaded day (and year) has arrived. I turned the 'Big 3-0' this week. It's amazing how when we're younger we have all these goals, aspirations and even a timeline for when we would like things to happen. Well, I was hoping to have our first child by the time I was 25 after we got married. That hasn't happened and we spent the last 5 years dealing with loss and grief and constant disappointment every month while you hope that maybe - just maybe - this will be my month. I did want a low key 30th birthday but was bombarded with lots of birthday wishes from friends all over the world which was so nice and I really didn't expect it. However on my birthday night as I was responding to all my birthday messages, I saw that one of my best friends had put a huge announcement on Facebook 'Oh Baby Baby we're having a baby!' She didn't wish me Happy Birthday though she would have seen it with l the comments on my timeline. I don't even care about the birthday, it's the fact that we're one friends, she knew we had fertility issues and she didn't have the decency to tell me in person. Instead I had to find out in the worst way possible - on Facebook along with everyone else - and on my damned 30th Birthday. Then my cousin and his wife announce their second pregnancy three days later. Then my other best friend in France announces hers. The worst part is the first friend who blasted over Facebook somehow keeps sending me reminders about her post (because of course she wants me to see it) and I just don't have the strength to face her. Sorry for sounding so negative - it's just been a really tough week with turning 30 and no baby, Mother's Day coming up and then someone telling me my Mom and I look like sisters instead of mother and daughter. I really hope we make some progress this year - hubby and I aren't getting any younger and we feel we are doing everything we can to help ourselves but no luck. Really feel like throwing in the towel 😢