Were you scared?

Question

My husband is active duty... But we are trying for a baby! (Yay!) But I'm also scared as well. Have any of you tried for a baby, but scared your husband will deploy before you chance, or get deployed right after you find out? I have faith that he would come back, but in the chance that he doesn't I would love to be able to carry on the name... Were you scared? And if it happened, how did you get through it?

Answer

I'm currently pregnant. My hubby deploys four months after the baby is born. He is going to miss a lot of firsts. We are gonna record him reading stories and talking to the baby so the baby will remember what he looks like and what he sounds like. I really hope it works cause that would suck if he came home and the baby wanted nothing to do with him cause he didn't remember his dad :(

Answer

It's difficult to say, but it's definitely a possibility that any husband in the military could be deployed at anytime. Don't be scared, look at it as a learning experience and the fact that everything happens for a reason! If you focus on ttc around his dates you'll be upset if it doesn't work out as planned!

Answer

My husband and I weren't trying to convince  it just happened and yes then he was deployed when I found out I was 1 Month (5weeks) pregnant. Now I am 5 Months (20weeks) and it has been hard with him gone because he is missing everything. And he is gone for the whole 9 months. The Army is trying to send him home for the delivery but he only gets 10 day leave. Then has to go back to finnish. Yes it's  scary  and it's a blessing that I got pregnant while hes gone because I have a part of him home with me! And that makes me happy! You just have to stay positive and pray that he will come home! I pray everyday that he is okay and will come home to us!  Stay Strong!💪💕😊

Answer

I was scared. I was so scared that I put it off until he got his 3 years of shore duty (navy) because he deployed 4x in the past 3.5 years. We are finally pregnant and I'm already fretting about the possibility of him deploying when our child is 2. It sucks, it's hard, & I wish I could tell you it wasn't....just keep your head up and remember that you guys can get through anything that life throws at you! Luckily we learn how to thrive in tough situations living this lifestyle!

Answer

We waited till we were stationed at a duty station where he wouldn't deploy so we don't have to worry about it. That being said, it's just something that could happen for many couples and the only advice I would give is know that it's a possibility and accept it. If you can't accept the possibility that he may not be there for the birth/ first year of the child's life, maybe consider waiting. Good luck!

Answer

Missing pregnancy wouldn't bother me really, but my husband deployed the day before our son turned 8 months. He missed everything! His first steps, his first words and first birthday.  Then when he got back my son had no clue who he was! That was more painful than anything to see how heartbroken that made my husband.

Answer

My husband and I are trying right now and he deploys early next year. We have been trying for a while with no luck.. So I am heading to the doctor next week. We are hoping we can plan it out so I get pregnant right before he leaves and I will have it right when he gets back..but of course I am planning on having the baby while he is gone (I am always a worst case thinker). I am scared of a lot of things.. And I think that's why I have avoided it. He has wanted me to go to the doctor and already wanted to have a kid.. But I am scared. He finally broke down and told me he wants me to have a baby so if something happens to him the baby can carry on his name.. This scared me even more!! But at the same time I feel like I would regret not having a baby. So we are praying we can get things moving and be pregnant by december. I totally get the being scared though!! I think it's normal..

Answer

I haven't read all the comments on your post but I had to comment. My husband deployed 4 weeks after I gave birth to our daughter. I went home to colorado for the 10 months he was gone to be with family and the entire time I was scared. I dread the thought of deployments, I worry way too much. He was in a rather safe area but still, I worried. Now our daughter is 2 and a half and I will say that him being gone for the first 10 months of her life did take a toll on their relationship. Deployments are hard but they do go by very fast. It feel like yesterday that he was just getting back home, yet it's been almost 2 years that he's been back.

Answer

For the first year and a half that my husband and I were TTC, he was gone most of the time with trainings, underways, and a 7month deployment. Since many people asked during his time away, I know that we were intermittently together for a little less than 3 months. To be honest, I was scared before the deployment because I'd experience everything without him. Likewise for him, he didn't want to miss out. He also wouldn't have been able to come home for the birth since there's only one other person with his job.

Anyway, there is always support available to you. You can ask the ombudsman for information. Or you can connect with FRG and other wives. If you can afford it, travel home or have family visit you. That's how many of the families survived during deployment, at least.

I'm blessed to have a post-deployment baby, knowing that my husband will be home for most of the next year. Good luck!

Answer

My husband is active duty as well and hasn't deployed in almost two years so I k know it will come soon!! I am terrified that he will get orders before we get pregnant or that as soon as I get pregnant he will deploy!!! It's a very scary thing because I don't want him and I be gone while I'm pregnant or when I go in labor. I am also 27 next month and it would kill me to have to wait till he gets home to try and get pregnant!! Best of luck to you!!

Were you scared?

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