Drug Abuser the father, stay or go?

Question

Hello all. Sorry for the long post, but I'm thinking I need some outside advice. I'm newly pregnant (5w6d), and the father is an ex of mine I got back together with because I thought he had cleaned up.
In the past he fed me tons of lies, used every drug under the sun (I don't use any, barely even drink) constantly messaged other women, slept with other women, etc. I, for some reason would take him back because I loved him, and hoped he would change.

We ended up seeing each other again and now here we are, pregnant and on the outs because he never actually stopped doing drugs, never even attempted. Just hid it better.

I don't want my child to be in such an environment, now, later, ever. This morning the SO actually told me drugs are fun, they bring him joy and they're the only thing that does.
Should I stay and try to get him help? Or should I leave once and for all because it's obvious things will not change?

Answer

No one can tell you what to do, but if it were me, I would leave. You cannot get anyone help, they have to want help first then you can assist. People do not change if they don't want to and doesn't sound like this person wants to change.

Answer

Leave! If he's sleeping with other women that should make you want to leave.. And him doin drugs, think of the environment your child will grow up in? What if you kid finds it?? He seems like he doesn't want to quit.. Do what's best your you and you're baby and run.. Run far...

Answer

My ex is an addict/criminal. I understand why you kept going back. We have kids, he has barely been involved and left me for one of his church women when I was pregnant. Our twins are almost 4, and collectively he has been involved 6 weeks total. He's been in and out of jail since our twins were born. .

Truth....people can change, but it is a matter if wanting to. He clearly doesn't, and probably won't. Let him go, let go of the idea of him being a family man, and go find a good guy.

I have 3 kids, and it took a long time for me to feel confident that I would find someone who wanted me with so many kids. Sure enough, I'm with an awesome guy who not only accepts my kids, but also wants more.

Youve got this!

Answer

I agree do not stay. Think of you and the child. There are great guys out there. You need someone who thinks you and your family are the ones who bring him the most joy. I do not know him obviously but He seems to have priorities out of wack. He won't change no matter how many times he says he will. He has to want to, you can't change him, He pretty much told you that won't happen.
Also, what if drugs are found and your child gets taken away? Then you would probably regret not doing what you felt you needed to. 
If you are second guessing the relationship and he told you drugs are priority not you and your child, To me that would make me think, that's my answer. I want someone who feels the same about me as I do him. Don't sell yourself short.
I'm sorry you are going through this. My ex was very similar and I couldn't take hurting and fighting about it. It gets easier even if it seems like it won't now. I apologize if I offend you by saying this I don't mean to, but try praying about it. It helps.

Answer

Leave. Run. GO! Do NOT look back and try to fix him. Take care of your baby and do what's best for you two. If he chooses to destroy himself let him. Don't let him drag you and your unborn baby into his mess.

Answer

I'm on the same boat and also 5 weeks pregnant.  Him and I are married and he's in denial about his drugs, his moods are horribly irrational and just nuts, he's cheating and has been it been hard lady.  I'm starting to finally understand as much as I've tried I can't help him,  it the hardest decision but a divorce now seems like the only thing.  I'm here for you if you need to talk

Answer

No, if he wants help he needs to get it in his own. Now your priority is your child, and protecting her/him. With hum using on a regular basis anythung can happen. Not just accidents either, in many states there is a law called "hands of ine hands of all" meaning that if you and your child are present in the hime, or vehicle when something happens you are guilty too. You really just have to ask yourself if you're willing to risk your child's future for a know, unapologetic drug addict.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. Find resources for you and your baby ajd don't kook back. ((Hugs))

Answer

Don't stay. I've been there. It's too hard and you are too beautiful to put up with those never ending thoughts of "where is he" And "is he high right now". They NEVER go away & your insecurities only get bigger. He isn't ready for life girl. You have been blessed and have to step up for the baby's sake.

You can also try Alanon meetings to meet others that are exactly like you! They will help you stay strong, you can even get a "sponsor" who will be your rock! It works, I promise!

The worst part about it is feeling like you have no control... Over him, your situation, your life. To help with that, do the dishes every night, make your bed every morning. Do things to "control" and tidy up your direct environment and it will help you feel strong, organized and like a WOMAN. 
Don't wait around for a boy! Find you a man who has his life together.

Good luck and prayers for you!!

Answer

Oh and...."try to get him help....." Don't even waste your time.

Answer

I would never be involved with someone who was addicted.

Drug Abuser the father, stay or go?

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