Trying to move on

I threw away the ultra sound pictures last night. I had some from 6.5 weeks and some from 12 weeks. He was 15.3  weeks when we lost him two weeks ago. I thought I was ready to throw them away but now I've been crying off and on since I did it. I really wish the pain would stop. I can't stop asking why me, why do I deserve this? I know it silly but that's what's on my mind.