How common is domestic violence? Has it happened to you?

Question

I am not afraid to say that right now, i am living in fear of not knowing what my future looks like. I am a victim of domestic violence, and while it is not physical (atleast at this point in time), i deal with a man who i walk eggshells around. He smokes alot of weed, and his family believes he does more, but i cant confirm that. I am so emotionally, verbally, and sometimes physically abused. I kicked him out of my home 4 days ago, and i havent seen him since, but i look out my windows every 20 mins or when i hear a noise, because i feel like he will come back and seek revenge at any moment. Ladies, have any of you been through this? And if so, how did you escape? How did you move forward?

Answer

Please don't let it get this far....
I'm a survivor of domestic violence,  the pic on the left is me three weeks after my ex beat and almost killed me in 2009. At first it was hurtful words then it turned into him hitting me, then it turned to him beating me and one night the beating almost took my life (as u can see). He broke my nose, cheek, wrist, and left me with a number of neurological problems such as ptsd. 
I beg of u to please get out now please!  Don't let it get this far please. I am one of the lucky ones to be alive and now I have a great man that I call my fiance. I'm so lucky to have found true love and found someone to have my lil family with. There is life after domestic violence please get out and don't let it consume u. I'm so sorry u are dealing with this but please take my story serious and please let it give u motivation to get out!

Answer

First, you gotta take your personal security seriously and be willing to fight back if it comes down to it. I've got two cameras mounted on the front of my house that cover the driveway, yard, and street. Another camera covers the front door and one for the back of the house. I've got ADT and USE IT. I've also got two Rottweilers both raised from pups and are now over 130 lbs each. In addition I keep a baseball bat (steel enforced) right next to my bed and pepper spray on my key chain. After having to pepper spray his ass one good time, I haven't had and problems out of him. It's been years since then but I still keep security a priority and honestly it feels good. I never want to look at myself in the mirror again and feel ashamed.

Answer

My friend was in a controlling relationship where the guy would get very angry and break stuff and she would feel scared although he never hit her. He would also be incredibly mean and aggressive on occasion. She threatened to leave and got her own place and he begged her not to go and promised to do counselling, admitting that he had issues. He moved with her into the 2 bedroom with the understanding that he had to leave if things didn't change. He went to counselling and did cognitive behavioural therapy exercises and learned how to control his emotions and react appropriately and they're now in a really loving and happy relationship. People can change if they truly want to but most ppl don't.

If you're in an abusive relationship, you need to protect yourself and get out. If they change afterwards, great, but don't expect it to happen.

Answer

I'm kinda on your same boat, my husband and I don't live togeather based o  the fact that I'm in the military and he got a dui so he had to stay in mi.  This past year has been the hardest of my life.  He's never been physical, but emotionally and verbally is a complete different story, I've been called a cunt, stupid, bitch every name under the sun, he has threatened to kill me recently and told me to go take some pills.  I'm 5 weeks pregnant and he's only gotten worse, he's cheating had no remorse it's just a horrible situation.  I'm here in hawaii and just feel alone, it's hard I'm trying to take it day by day it's just hard.

Answer

I left a marriage of 5 years by calling the police after my ex kicked the crap out of me. If you are worried about him coming back, get a restraining order so there is documentation. Please seek counciling.  I did and it has helped so much.

Answer

I left my abusive husband in July. Took me a while to get financially able to get a place of my own and to move out. But I'm so glad that i did.

Answer

I left 5 years ago in the middle of the night. He was verbally, emotionally, sexually and physically abusive. Married him when I was 22, was raped by him, offered to his friends for drugs, hit, kicked,  isolated from everyone. Married 9/2007 in 6/2008 he started smoking meth and things got bad, I stuck around because I was in school to become a nurse and that was more important than leaving. I was also far away from family. Things came out in 2010, he admitted he was gay; the marriage was a sham and he used me as a front. This was his excuse and reason for the beatings and rapes. With the help of a friend, after he beat me senseless and threatens me with a gun, I fled with my dad in the middle of the night. I never looked back and feel nothing for him.

The guy I am with now, has shown me what love is and been by my side since June 2011. He is who saved me, helped me see my worth and is now the father of our child who is due in November.

Answer

I was in an abusive situation for 5 years (sexually, emotionally, and physically). He was my first boyfriend so it took me 3 years to figure out it was wrong and two years to get out because I had to concept of normal. I was fucked up for a long time after it but I'm doing really well now I am going to college, have a 4.0, in a great relationship and I treat myself well now. It took a lot of hard work, good friends and therapy to move on but I'm happier than I ever knew I could be. Keep yor head up it can only get better. Contact a local women's Shelter and they will help you with everything you could  imagine. Your not alone the most important thing is tat you use this to make you stronger so it never happens again.

Answer

My daughter's "sperm donor" abused me while pregnant then once in front of our daughter at 3 months.  He started of with just words then at 6 months along he smacked me across the face with a bible & punch me & split my lip. We broke up Shelly after this because I found out he was cheating. Shortly after my daughter was born I tried to let him be there without a relationship & gave him a place to stay &one night after getting drunk he slammed my head into my wall, ripped an earing out, bruised my thigh from knee to hip & when I tried to keep him away from our 3 month old to push him out the door he tried to do worse. But thankfully I was able to get him out the door... my daughter now has night terrors & has since that night (She is almost 3 now). I'm thankful he is no longer in the picture and hasn't been since shortly after she turned 1.  He had supervised visit with his mother for a while but no one in his family bothers to see her anymore... but I'm thankful she will not grow up in a home of violence. I got away thankfully not everyone is always so lucky.

Answer

My dad nearly killed my mom and I when I was a baby. I don't remember it but I know it hurt my mom deeply. You need to seek help and get out of it as soon as you can. That type of behavior doesn't disappear, it gets worse and you aren't in a position to try to fix it. I'll pray for you!

How common is domestic violence? Has it happened to you?

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