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17w and still worried constantly

Please don't get me wrong, I am so very grateful and thankful about being pregnant but I cannot help but worry most days.

We had 2 mcs last year both before 12w-one being a missed mc, one natural. We are now at 17w and have had 3 positive scans (the furthest we've ever got), plus we heard the heartbeat last week at 16w4d but today I have woke up feeling incredibly emotional and fearful that something awful will happen. I've had no symptoms of anything bad at all *touch wood* but after a mmc I can't help but be like this as I never had any symptoms of things going wrong before.

I don't think I've felt any kicks or anything yet either and with very few symptoms, I feel like this stress is driving me crazy and not allowing me to enjoy any of the pregnancy. I told my midwife about my anxiety and she said talking to a counsellor might help but I'm still waiting for a referral to come through.

I've barely even told anyone were expecting as I'm scared I'll have to untell them at a later date; luckily I'm a bit on the bigger side so have managed to get away with not looking pregnant for a while longer than most do, but my husband now says I'm starting to show so the secret will be out at some point soon.

Any tips on how to handle the situation? My husband is very understanding but everytime I bring up my fears, I'm sure it panics him too which I don't want to do.

Sorry for the long post, just feeling a little lost today 😢

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