I felt like i was pushed...please don't judge.

So for the past 5+ years I have went through a lot with my now husband. From cheating to flirting/trying to get with coworkers. I tried marriage counseling over the past 4 months and he still hasn't changed anything. I have been doing things to make me happy, I haven't been happy in awhile so I spend time with my kids and on Saturdays I go out with friends/family. I am so miserable with my husband and I feel bad when I know I shouldn't. 2 weeks ago I ran into an old middle school friend and we ended up having sex. I feel horrible but I don't regret it at all. I have only been with 2 men and I have always been faithful. I have also been talking to a family friend for the past month and plan on hooking up with him too. I told my husband 3 weeks ago (before I did anything) that I wanted a divorce... Problem is he won't get out. Now he is kissing my ass only for me to stay and he continue the bs. I feel like he pushed me to that. I would never imagine doing this to him. I feel bad. I really do. Any advice? Am I wrong? No negative comments please.