Daddy issues

Growing up my dad was all I thought I had. I had a mom and brothers but for years it was just us. He manipulated me into thinking my mom didn't love me. She started a new family got married and didn't want me anymore. When I was a kid he would tell me mom was picking me up. I get all excited and then she would never come. I was heart broken he then would say "well u know she has a new family she doesn't love u anymore." I would always believe him. He is my dad why would he lie to me. My older brother knew better and would tell me what he was doing but I didn't believe him. After I was raped I started acting out and my dad started beating me but is till loved him and stayed. We we're all we had. I finally got away from and reconnected with my mom and brothers. I still keep.in contact with my dad. Is that healthy? Is so.ething wrong with me? Should I sever all ties with him? I feel like deep down he does love me and after losing my mom he just wanted to keep me close bcuz everyone else left him. I just don't know anymore need some advice