Struggling...

I don't know if it is that I feel so sick and exhausted but I am not over the moon excited about being pregnant. The part that makes it so unbelievable is that I had to convince my husband to have another baby rounding our grand total to 4 children. I am sad that I feel sad. It's a vicious cycle. It cannot possibly help that I continue to spontaneously throw up, practically without warning. I want to want this as bad as I did two weeks before I got pregnant. I literally can't stand myself!!!! Anyone else having mixed feelings?