Nervous about bad news

I finished my last cycle of Clomid last month. My period is late. I don't want to take a test because I'm so nervous. I'm scared that it'll be negative. For months, I've been excited and then I get let down when my period starts. I can't bear another heartbreak. I'm so tired of trying. I'm so tired of watching my calendar. I'm so tired of watching my diet. I'm so tired of feeling down when I see happy mums with their babies. I've got a doctor's appointment in an hour and I'm dreading going in. I'm thinking of not going at all. Does anyone else ever got so nervous?