New baby...sex life?

Question

Hello all. I just recently gave birth and my husband and I couldn't be happier.

My husband is more than eager, of course, to get back "on the saddle", but I'm not so sure I'm quite ready for that.

Have any of you ladies gone through this? What did you do to cope?

I love my husband and of course he knows that, but I'm not sure how to tell him I'm not ready, without him feeling neglected.

Advice?

Answer

If he's as understanding as you said then just flat out say "I technically went through a physical trauma and am not sure I am entirely ready for sex again. It's not about avoiding you, but it can be painful so soon after (you are supposed to wait 6+ weeks anyway) and I'm just not sure I'm in a spot to handle that and I love you." It assures him it's nothing to do with him and you still get your point across.

Answer

I waited six weeks. Then the first time didn't go very well. My BFF had warned me about it too. I was so tender I told him to ," get outta there." Then my sex drive dwindled for a bit. I felt terrible. So I spoke to my doctor went and bought some special lubes and other things and we just practiced getting back in the saddle. After about two and a half months I was back to where I needed to be. Don't feel bad if you aren't in the mood. I had to keep reminding myself ," I just popped out a human being from a very small opening." Lol. Just talk to him and do it whenever you are ready.

Answer

The first time I was super sore, dry and tender. It was horrible. I also had postpartum depression and between the antidepressants and birth control, I had no sex drive for a good year. This time, we waited until 7 days postpartum (I had no tear, was done bleeding by day 4, and not sore at all) and we've been pretty good since. But even then, my libido just isn't the same. Its all about communication. Even if you don't have intercourse, don't forget to make your husband feel sexy and loved...I know for me, it was hard and I didn't realize how much it affected my husbands self esteem.

New baby...sex life?

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