Hopeless

I just don't know what to think... I'm the only one of my friends who is having this problem... I see person after person conceiving. I have clients who are addicted to heroin, shooting up everyday of their pregnancy and they deliver 6-7 babies!!! I Miscarried on Easter Sunday then... I finally got my BFP last week on a crappy test, I get my blood test today... hCG at 33...
When is something going to give? When is it going to stick? I just feel so hopeless... And sad... And I just want it to be done, I want the mc to just start... I want my boobs to go back to normal, I want the pregnancy symptoms to go away so I can go back to living... 😞