No heartbeat

L
We went for an emergency ultrasound yesterday at 10 weeks, because the light bleeding I had been experiencing for weeks, suddenly increased. There was no heartbeat. 
I chose to miscarry naturally at home, and this afternoon after a few hours of contractions and cramps, our tiny baby was born. He has ten fingers and ten toes, he would have been perfect. I wanted this so badly, and now my child and my future have died inside of me. How do you get through this?