I am 32 weeks with my twins. My baby B has always measured behind A but was always growing on a consistent curve with its sibling. We found out the other day that baby B is no longer keeping up, getting enough from its placenta, and it's only a matter of time (we don't know how long) before it stops thriving completely and we need to deliver. The high-risk clinic is completely taking over my care and I can no longer see my regular OB. I have to have twice weekly appointments an hour away from my house and can't deliver at my hospital with my regular doctor because there is no NICU. I feel like the high-risk clinic is full of pushy strangers that don't really care about how I feel about all of this. Don't get me wrong, I'm so, so grateful that they are keeping a close eye on my babies and I know they know what is best. I obviously want the very best possible doctors and care for them. I just feel like I no longer have a say in my care, in my doctor, and nobody seems to be thinking about how this is affecting ME emotionally. They deal with this every day and have seen much worse but this is the worst I'VE ever seen for MY babies. It's so hard to literally sit back and wait for something bad to happen and there's NOTHING I can do about it. I so badly wanted to make it to 38 weeks, avoid NICU time, and come home a few days later with two healthy babies. It definitely doesn't seem like it's going to happen. I feel like I'm already mourning the loss of the labor and delivery I was hoping for :( Am I crazy?