I've been with this guy for 5 months. At first we talked for a few months. That led to more. I was raped by my ex only 1 month before that:/ and he knew this. He was one of the first people i told. About 2 weeks into our relationship he pressured me into having sex with him. And I told him several times I wanted to wait. I didn't think it was bad but it kept happening. I know it's my fault too but he knows I wanted to wait :/. About 3 weeks ago I went away for a few days we weren't able to talk or anything. Ever since then he has treated me very different, and I feel like he has been hiding stuff from me. And he's been lying to me. I'm just so sick of crying myself to sleep every night. And feeling like everyone would be better off if I was dead. I don't know what to do anymore 😞