My husband forced himself on me...

So last night for the first time in 4 years I felt disrespected by my husband. We went to bed and out of nowhere I am woken by his penis forscing it self into me witch was very painful I told him to stop and tried to squirm out but he is obviously much stronger than me, I keep on trying to get out and even started crying but he wouldn't stop so he continued until he was done trying to force kiss me and talking non sense to me it was like if it was a terrible nightmare but I know I was awake cause I could feel the pain in my vagina. So when he was done I was so stonished and just frozen that all I did was turn arround to my sied and he asked if I was upset...... Really?! I got up and whent to the leaving room where I was trying to put my self together so I wouldn't wake up my 2 year old daughter with my sobbing. I cryed for a good minute and he never came torse me or tried to say anything when I finnally filmed down I took a shower and went back to bed keeping my distance from him cause I had a weird feeling torse him I can't even explain I felt asleep and I was woken up by him putting our daughter into our bed and he went to sleep in her room. In the morning he tried to kiss me goodbye when he was leaving to work but I couldn't even bear his touch it is now lunchtime and not even a text.... I need help am I over reacting do I sit him down after work to talk to him. If so how do you even start a conversation like that??! Please help. I feel terrible

25.2k views • 15 upvotes • 75 comments

COMMENT (75)

Mr

Posted at
Please ignore this Victoria chick, what he did was rape, it is illegal married or not! He way your feeling is perfectly justified what he did is awful and you may never look at him the same again. You can take legal action if you want to. Don't let anyone make you think that this is okay, it's not. And it's not you fault!

So

Sophielouise • Jul 13, 2015
Victoria I can see the men in white suits coming for you 😂😂😂 seriously girls ignore this weirdo one flew over the cuckoos nest springs to mind!

Jo

Jordan Ashley Rose♥ • Jul 10, 2015
Is this chick serious? Her account must've been hacked or something because no human with a heart would think or speak the way she does. Also, her grammar skills are horrendous,.

Ma

Maria • Jul 10, 2015
Victoria, please grow up.

El

Posted at
He raped you. Husband or no you said "No". If you think you can forgive him and trust him again then yes sit down and talk with him and call and set up an appointment for couples councling. Personally I've been woken up plenty of times with my husband wanting sex. But he's never just stuck his dick in me. He's caressed my body, fondled me and turned me on so I wanted what he was doing. I can't even imagine going through what you went through. I'm so sorry.

.

. • Apr 9, 2017
Same for me with my boyfriend. He'll wake me up and kiss me, then start caressing and touching me, and always checks with me to make sure I want to too. If I don't then he backs off or masturbates

Me

Posted at
He raped you..that's horrible and against the law married or not. I'm truly so so sorry and can't even imagine the shock you feel as this is someone who you love and who you believed to have respect for you. I suggest a serious conversation and if he doesn't understand, there is always therapy. To me, a trust has been broken and that is hard to get back 

Ke

Kellie • Jul 9, 2015
I thinking it would be different if you told him you liked to be woke up like that but to have him just do it with no reaction. to your plea to stop not okay . but that is my opinion. hope everything works out for the best . ♡

Mi

Posted at
I'm sorry but married or not, IT IS RAPE. 

🍀

Posted at
There is a disorder, where people will have sex while they are asleep and very similar to sleep walking. And yes, people will seem awake and will even talk while sleep walking. So I would straight ask your husband if he remembers what happened last night, and if not explain what happened and discuss seeing a doctor about it. If he does remember because he was awake, explain that it was rape and suggest couples therapy...I'm sorry you had to go through this.

Ha

Hannah • May 4, 2023
My husband has this disorder. And when it does happen, he just rolls back over and is snoring right away, he never speaks to me afterwards or asks if I’m good. We have a mutual agreement/understanding that we’re fine with waking each other up for sex, but it was agreed on a long time before it ever happened in his sleep.

Ki

Kit • Sep 2, 2022
Regardless of if it’s a disorder,it is still rape and he is not safe to sleep with

L

L • May 16, 2017
You never know.. this is just one side of the story.. what if the guy does have it.. I think karma is right though weather he has this disorder or not he should seek help from a professional.. that's horrible!

Ha

Posted at
He raped you. I'd report him to the police and get you and your daughter somewhere safe without him. 

SS

Posted at
I'm not trying to minimize what happened in anyway - but is it possible he was asleep? The way he was non responsive at the time and then acted like nothing in the morning makes it sound like he doesn't know it happened. If he has a history of sleep walking you may need to look into it

Al

Alexis • May 12, 2017
There is actually a very good chance that he may not even remember the incident and as rare as it may seem he might have done it while sleeping whether his eyes were open, he was talking, etc..just talked about this in psychology and there have been many cases where people do things like that out of nowhere even with no history of that before and it would be best to sit down and talk with him about it asking if he remembers if not he needs to talk to a doctor to prevent worse from happening. If he remembers maybe some it's still possible and if he remembers completely and he was aware the whole time legal action needs to be taken. He raped you.

Je

Jeni • Jul 9, 2015
My husband initiates stuff in his sleep on occasion too, he has told me before sometimes he will wake up and we are having sex and just be like oh okay lol but he has never been forceful like she described either

Br

Brenda • Jul 9, 2015
he was talking to me during the time this was happening and he talked to me after I turned arround. and the sleep trying to initiate thing has happened before but as soon as I tried to say no or something he would snap out of it. this time I was squirming and saying no eve fighting him if you might say

As

Posted at
No you're not over reacting if you tried to move away especially if you told him no and he continued it is rape husband or not!!! No man or woman has the right to force sex on anyone!! I would not take this lightly if it were me we would be having a serious talk about it and if it ever happened again I'd be gone in a heart beat don't let him make you think its OK just because he is your husband

Sh

Posted at
I'm so sorry. This is rape. Only you can decide what you want to do with this. If you want to report it that's okay, if you do not please at least go seek counseling. Also, try to speak with him and set clear boundaries. You are not there for his pleasure, your own person with needs and feelings.

Be

Becca • May 16, 2017
Agree

Be

Becca • May 16, 2017
🙄🙄🙄

Sh

Shawna • Jul 9, 2015
you're* your

Mi

Posted at
I know he may be your daughters dad, but just please keep an eye on him with your baby girl. 

Na

NatiNat • May 7, 2017
No it's not way too far.... I completely agree

Sa

Sa • Apr 11, 2017
I think she has a point. He raped his own wife. Men like that I wouldn't trust around my daughters.

Kr

Krystal • Jul 16, 2015
THAT is just way to far!