Breaking the hymen?

I can't tell if my hymen is still intact or not. Everyone says "just look and you should see it" but I don't see anything. I haven't for any sort of vigorous activity to "break it" and I've never had sex. And it hurts to attempt masturbation or use tampons. So by that I should still have it. 
But at the same time I can't see it at all and I wish it was gone so that masturbation and sex won't be painful. I honestly don't know where I'm going with this but I felt the need to say it. Has anyone stretched their hymen out without pain? Because that doesn't seem like an option for me...