I found out I miscarried in my second trimester last weekend. Once I started feeling better I started drinking and smoking again.
Before I got pregnant I regularly drank and was a smoker. When I found out I completely stopped. But restarted the moment I felt good enough to do so.
My ex and I just broke up a couple days ago. I like to believe it was a mutual thing, he just blames me for initiating it or sometimes hates that he didn't do it first. We are in our mid 20s and yes he's immature. I seriously want nothing to do with him anymore. Our relationship was very unhealthy. I felt distraught about the miscarriage but felt even more distraught about bringing my baby boy into this unhealthy relationship environment. We didn't fight about money because we both got good paying jobs. It's was more along the lines of time, lying, cheating, etc. I've dealt with this behavior for 2 years straight.
Now that there is a little background I'd like to share what I need help with;
Ever since the miscarriage, my drinking has gone significantly up since last time. However, now that I lost the man I love --ignorant to say the least, I know -- I've completely lost control.
My best friend invited me to go to the bar for a going away party and I went last night. Her, her fiancé, and I all started drinking for the first time that night at the same time but I managed to drink significantly more than them both combined. At the bar, I felt buzzed not anywhere near drunk. But once I started walking up the hill to my house after she drops me off I felt drunk. I got in the house and felt OK and went to sleep.
This morning I woke up about 10am ish. I felt dizzy. I smoked and went downstairs and laid on the couch texting, Facebooking, watching TV etc until 12pm. My brother and I decided to go out and eat. Sure enough, I only had showered and brushed my teeth before a drink of alcohol was going down my throat. I had 3 beers, paced out. After, we spent time with our Mom and went back home around 5pm. I felt extremely fatigued so I decided to take a nap before I got dressed to go to a party out in the country. I woke up at 11pm and felt terrible. I decided not to go and instead read because I just couldn't do it. I just woke up from having a vivid dream, feeling afraid, I felt like I wasn't sleeping but I was, I could feel my heartbeating, I felt like I was awake, I woke up sweaty, and I have a busting headache among other things.
Do you think I'm drinking excessively and this is why I had this episode, per se?
Do you think the stress is getting the best of me?
Both questions are the answers to my question?
Should I seek help for my alcohol consumption?