When your SO doesn't want children

Question

How did your SO act when he didn't want children? I'm 18 in November and my SO just turned 20 and we've been together for 3 years. He doesn't want a family for another 4+ years! He will ignore the topic any chance he gets,will constantly remind me to take my Birth Control and just plainly don't want kids.. It upsets me and I know I'm young but to go to the point and say 'Take your pill now' and if one minute later I don't take it he'll remind me again. If I got pregnant I would be upset,I would be happy even though the timing isn't right. Anyone else's SO is this way?

Answer

My when I was dating my husband he was very clear he wanted to take all the precautions we could so I wouldn't get pregnant. He didn't want children yet, and that's fine. He is being very honest with you by saying he is not ready. And if you are anything like me I got his with a tremendous amount of baby fever in my late teens early twenties. But he stood firm and was clear, "I don't want children yet." I am now very greatful he stood firm. I have one child and one on the way, and I would not have been ready for the responsibility of them if I were younger. I also would not have been able to travel overseas with the freedom I did. So don't be offended. He is just being honest with you. Nothing scares a man in their early twenties like hearing," you're gonna be a daddy!" At least he is being responsible.

Answer

I think it sounds like he's trying to be careful and make sure neither of you has your youth taken away too early. 4+ years at your age is nothing. Wait, get an education, be able to support and provide for your family. Then you'll BOTH feel ready.

It's not like he has said "no kids ever!" He just said "no kids right now."

Answer

My long time boyfriend says he never wants children. I am positive I want to become a mom. Im hoping he will change his mind in a few years..

Answer

You guys are very young still. Him not being ready doesn't make him a bad guy. You guys just need to focus on you two. Wait for 4 years then bring up trying for a baby. My husband and I didnt even think about baby making until we were in our mid 20's. So I think what he's asking isn't unreasonable

Answer

Give it time. You're both still young. I'm sure he will come around in a few years, and you'll both be ready.

Answer

In 4 years you will only be 22, and he will be 24. That sounds very reasonable to me. Take a little time and enjoy the silence, read, travel, have fun. Once a baby is in the picture, those things become harder to do

Answer

He's only 20, still very young. He's being overly cautious because he absolutely does not want kids yet. No need to get upset. Move on to other topics. He didn't say never, just not now.

Answer

Starting a family is as much his decision as it is yours. You need to compromise here and give him some time. He seems willing for the future but obviously wants to wait. If it's that big of a deal for you wanting to start a family ASAP than maybe he's not the right partner for you.

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A lot of guys don't want to start a family for a while. You're so young. Don't rush it. When he's ready then it'll be worth it but he'll just resent you if you don't respect him.

Answer

My husband was like this! And even tho I didn't mind to get pregnant & got a little upset when he said he didn't want kids until 5+ years, I kinda understood what he meant. It's actually the most responsible way to go. We are going to be 24 years old soon & we have been together since 16-17 years old, living together for 6 years, legally married for 2 1/2 years & I'm due with our first baby next week. I think we couldn't have done it better, we are now more mature than we were 6 years ago and we really enjoyed our time without any children, honestly too young to plan a family at 18.

When your SO doesn't want children

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