Why does it take so long when we're doing everything right??😔

Every month getting my period is the most awful feeling. I feel miserable and like an absolute failure! We're 33 TTC#1 since August last year. Both healthy and fertile yet it hasn't happened yet!! We're doing everything right, taking vitamins for me and for him to aid his already super sperm, yet every month when I see AF, my heart just sinks. There are couples that drink way to much and smoke and yet it happens for them whereas we who are healthy and fit and ready to have a baby, and pray so much to God to give us one, it's not happening. What am I doing wrong?? For the past 2 months my spot on 27 day cycle was delayed for the first time ever by 2 days and gave us false hope only to feel even worse. I have all the pregnancy symptoms a week after my fertile period. I feel nauseous, heightened sense of smells, my breasts and nipples are sore and my tummy even feels different! Am I completely losing my mind and slowly becoming insane? I constantly Google "tips on falling pregnant", "early signs of pregnancy", etc etc etc. yesterday was CD28 and I had brown spotting, I spent the whole night hopeful and googling whether this was implantation bleeding, but I woke to that awful glob of AF. Everyone is pregnant from our group of friends or trying and it will prob happen for them sooner than me. The 4 days during my period are worse, I go into a state of depression and anger and crying. My poor husband has to deal with mental me because I take it out on him, but I can't believe the one thing I want so badly is taking so long 😔😔😔. I just want my own little baby so much....
608 views • 10 upvotes • 25 comments

COMMENT (25)

Tr

Posted at
Have you read Taking Charge of your Fertility? I just read it and it has a lot of useful information. Also, it can be helpful to have an HSG performed to assess for unblocked tubes. I also started acupuncture three months ago and although I'm not pregnant yet, it has helped me relax about the whole process. You're not alone. Cycle 10 for us. 32, DH 34. Baby dust.  It's not a matter of if you'll get pregnant, it's when! ✨

Tr

Tray • Jul 13, 2015
Victoria, that sounds interesting. How do you do it? I need patience. I'm currently in the TWW!

Vi

Victoria H • Jul 13, 2015
I have been doing sensory deprivation floating and it has really helped me relax and realign my logical and emotional brain!! it helps me cope with the tww as well as bfn tests

Tr

Tray • Jul 12, 2015
Thanks Michelle! What methods are you currently trying? Any new supplements? Trying to pay attention to my fertility signs, but not over analyze. 😊

La

Posted at
I am right there with you. I'm 32 and DH is 30. We have been trying since last August as well. In May this month (our the third month trying) I got my log awaited bfp. Only to be devastated 4 weeks later with a miscarriage. Now we have to wait for my period to come back before we can even start trying again. Seems like an eternity and meanwhile pregnant bellies and babies everywhere I turn. It's tough. Hoping I can convince again with a healthy baby soon. Good luck to you. 

Mi

Posted at
It's so annoying isnt it?!It helps me to assume it won't happen - i try to maintain a calm pessimism, and then will be surprised/delighted when i get a bfp ;)A year is also only really 12 chances...when i think of it like that its a wonder anyone has the patience to get pregnant naturally!!Good luck x

Ny

Posted at
I know exactly how you feel! Also 33, we've been trying for about 2 yrs. went to a fertility clinic to make sure we are both healthy and we are, so wondering exactly what is up. Every month the sore boobs/same symptoms as you one week after ovulation and I think Google even thinks I'm crazy by now. Good luck to you, and I'm here for you if you need an ear or shoulder. 

Ma

Posted at
I'm so sorry. We went through the same thing. TTC for #1 for over a year. It happened last month after we switched to Clearblue Digital OPK. Have you ever used them? They give you the most fertile days. After I used the Wondfo sticks the entire time we tried before I was ready to tear my hair out. Two months of using the Clearblue kind and we got pregnant. I pray and hope it will happen for you soon. I was depressed and angry that everyone got pregnant but me. All my gfs that were trying with me at the same time got pregnant right away. It's frustrating. But don't give up the hope! ❤️

Em

Posted at
Have you considered a fertility clinic? We had been trying on our own for 2 years. On our second month of tests and meds and I feel hopeful.

Em

Emily • Jul 13, 2015
our insurance covered diagnostics. I got an ultrasound and sono hsg to see how my uterus and fallopian tubes look. I got blood work to test my hormones to make sure I was actually ovulating. and husband got his sperm tested. most of that was covered. my meds and tests after are not but it's not that bad.

Mi

Michelle • Jul 12, 2015
What tests did the fertility clinic too? Was it expensive?

Er

Posted at
Sending all my positive thoughts to you and your hubby... all i can say is the longer the wait the more you appreciate it when it does happen as you know how huge and tough the journey has been to get to that moment! Its a hard slog and sometimes a painful one... im still ttc after 7 months and have friends that fell pg on first cycle. All i can say is our time will come! Xx

Mi

Posted at
Hang in there!! We're both 30, and we've been trying a year now. It's devastating when AF arrives. I usually cry and stay in pajamas a whole day 😞  Have you had an fertility testing yet?

Er

Erica • Jul 13, 2015
me and my husband have been trying for over a year now and I feel the same way every month when my period starts. to make matters worse he has 4 kids from previous relationships. I feel like it's never going to happen but my husband always makes me feel better when I am sad. I'm sure your husband is a great source of support and he knows when we get crazy that it's not his fault. But don't stop trying, it will happen when it's the right time. I'm still waiting too 😙😘😚😄

Me

Megan • Jul 13, 2015
I allow myself 1 full day to be sad and then pick everything back up. It helps.

Be

Posted at
I was in the same boat and now back in the boat!! 32.. Took me 8 months to get pregnant and we miscarried at 8weeks! Now we're back to trying and I know I'm going to get my period this week! I know it!! And everyone is pregnant or having babies! My sil got pregnant first try! Started trying after me and is due August! She has no clue how lucky she is and all she can say is "I'm fat"!! I just wanna shake her! Keep the faith!! That's all you can do.  I also get angry and cry!! Baby dust to you!! 💗

St

Posted at
I have been there too only I am not as healthy as you (overweight) and it is extremely hard for me to deal with too. Fertility diets, vitamins, calculations, shoot I even let the doctor talk me into fertility drugs for one month (bad idea). To top it all off two of my co workers got pregnant and they were not even trying. On girl was getting ready to end her relationship because the guy was getting clingy ((BOOM)) pregnant and the other had a reversal to her tubes being tied and ((boom)) pregnant. I pray and try do hard and women who don't want babies get them. It hurts my heart and causes sever depression, but I have found that praying and speaking with my family about it helps. I believe that The Lord is going to let me get pregnant, but it is not the right time for me yet.  My none religious friend said that I am calculating everything too much and that I am stressing myself out so I am trying to work on that too. Lastly, my new gynecologist says to remove sugar, caffeine, and other impurities from my diet and gave me a special diet that is so hard to maintain it is unreal but she has success stories to back it do I guess I will keep at it. I am sorry I don't have answers, but I find that when others share with me it helps me know that I am not alone in my struggle and that my feelings are valid (husband doesn't always understand although he deals well with me).