Heartbreak
This wasn't my month. AF arrived two days early, I thought I would be able to handle it better since I know for a fact that I actually ovulated and that it is a good sign, but I'm heartbroken far more than I usually am. My DH and I have been trying to conceive for about ten months now and every single month has been so painful, but this time is worse, and that's probably because I truly felt that I had done everything in power to make it happen this time and it didn't. I feel helpless. I am even considering going back on BC because I currently feel like I can't keep putting myself through this every month, it's heart wrenching. I scour through the success stories on this app to get a little hope and a lot of faith but I feel like crying every time. My DH doesn't even attempt to understand why this hurts me so bad and doesn't even really want to talk about it, so I spend half the month mad at him and the other half just trying to convince him to BD with me. This journey is more of a struggle and no one warned me about this part. I'm hurting so much right now and the fact that I'm just emotional because of AF doesn't help. Im sorry this is so long but I really needed to vent, no one in my circle understands and only ever gives me the craptastic mantras about it happening if it's meant to and what not.
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