When did you figure it out?

Question

About not being monogamous or deciding not to follow the monogamous lifestyle?

Just curious, it took years to understand why I felt like I could love more than one person romantically and that it was ok. I was raised by monogamous parents in a very Christian home. And it always made me question myself because of it.

Answer

When I was younger, even before having the vocabulary to describe it, I thought poly relationships were normal. I just thought of love and relationships as a way to enrich your life and share you love with others to enrich their lives.

I'm very lucky to have my 3 partners and I think I will be with them my whole life.

Answer

It took me years too. I fell in love with my best friend in high school and my then-bf encouraged me to pursue it and see what happened. I did and it was amazing. Shortly thereafter, they both couldn't handle not being my "only" which started us down an awful path of them both wanting me to choose and I couldn't. Everyone got hurt; everyone was miserable. I thought it was my fault and there was something wrong with me. And when I stayed with my bf and kept falling in love with other people after that point, it really did a number on my self esteem. I thought I was a horrible person. It took years to accept myself and recognize who I am, and eventually, he came around too to understanding it and accepting me for me.

Answer

I saw a polyamorous family on Wife Swap and decided to breach the subject with my hubby. We looked into the lifestyle, read some books and realized we BOTH always felt that way just didnt know there was a name and lifestyle attached to it. We were never miserable or anything, we are just secure enough in us to be able to be open about it.

Answer

I've only ever had 1 serious monogamous relationship (i was 19). That was the eye opening experience for me.

I met my (then) boyfriend and his girlfriend about 6 months after realizing monogamy sucked. Poly ever since.

Answer

It also took me years to figure it out. But I think my final straw of trying to ignore it was after my now ex husband who I thought I was doing right by broke my heart by not following the rules. We were very young when we married and had our child. I knew as a man he truly wasn't ready to be a one woman kind of man so I was like this can be open you can go have sex with other women if you feel the need. However it has to be safe for my sanity. Well when I found out he had not one but two women pregnant I was done. He obviously wasn't following the rules. When I finally started to date again I said this will be open and honest. We can be together and have sex with others as long as it's safe. Hope your good with that. Been together over a decade now. But of course people don't understand our lives so we don't tell many.

Answer

I was in high school, doing the serial monogamy thing, see one person, fall in love, see another, fall in love, must not love 1st person if I love 2nd person, dump person 1, get with person 2, repeat. Then I started dating George, and we were doing great, till I went to surprise him at college for valentine's day/ his birthday, and found him with multiple women in his dorm room fooling around. We broke up and I remember thinking "I'm pissed because he didn't tell me, not cause he did it." that's when I knew.

Answer

I realized when I was about 6 that monogamy seemed kind of dumb, a lot of times. Also the time I realized I like girls, too.

Couples all around me and on tv were having all of these problems, and most of them could be solved with poly. I didn't understand why loving more than one person wasn't talked about unless it was hurting someone. (Cheating)

My high school boyfriend explained to me what monogamy meant after telling me he wanted to be monogamous. I didn't know there were words for these things.
But once he explained it I looked him in the eyes and said, "That's dumb."
We tried to make it work, but it never would have.

Answer

I always knew!
When I came out as bisexual at the age of 11 or 12, I also said I'd prefer to have group relationships, like MFFM. Even if I didn't interact with the other male, I still wanted the female there.
I've been more or less practicing serial monogamy up untill this point in my life, though, as I quickly learned that wanting a group relationship wasn't 'normal' and neither was having relationships with females. I never really developed my passions beyond that, needless to say. I was basically following what everyone (who was straight and cis) was doing and chucked my desires up as a 'weird phase'.
I am in an amazing relationship with my now husband of 6 years, and we just recently found a girlfriend to hang with. It's all still really new and developing, but it's crazy to think that you can't outrun who you are no matter how hard you try.

Answer

My partner was having an emotional affair with a friend. And after talking about it we decided to try poly. It's hard at times.  But I have grown a lot.

Answer

Well, I ended up into the poly lifestyle after I fell in love with my now boyfriend. Even after he told me he was married and that him and his wife are open. I stopped talking to him for about a week or so after he told me he was married. But I couldn't get him off my mind I loved him, I kept asking myself if it was wrong to want to be with him cause he was married then finally I came to the point that I said you know what I shouldn't be unhappy nor him be unhappy cause this isn't what society wants. I've been with him for 3 years and we've all lived together for 2 1/2 years now. I wouldn't change it for the world.

When did you figure it out?

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