Dandruff 😩

Hey guys! So, I am a super hygienic person so when I say I have dandruff, don't get grossed out 😕 I have super curly dirty blonde hair. And since i was a kid, unless i constantly use a dandruff shampoo, I get horrible dandruff. I've been using head and shoulders for a couple years consistently but it has killed my already dry curly hair and now I have dandruff worse than ever. I'm a newly wed so I don't want my husband to think I'm nasty or something and I hate being so self conscious about it. Can someone give me a suggestion of what to do to get rid of the dandruff and rehydrate my curls? I'm to the point where I'm ready to cut my hair off short and start over but it is so slow to grow since the stress of my father dying 18 months ago that I'm scared to cut it for fear it will be another 18 months before it gets any length to it. 😩 help!!