No motivation after ectopic ): giving up

I've lost my motivation for everything. Showering, getting out of bed, working out, cleaning. 
I can't stand seeing my scars from my surgery. 
Now I'm about to get a job as a daycare teacher and my boyfriends excited for me because I love kids and I missed being a daycare teacher. But now it's a daily reminder that my baby is no longer inside of me. 
Ive felt hopeless since losing my baby in June. I know things will get better but right now I just want to visit home.. But that's across the country and Idk how to deal. My hearts breaking. How do I help my bf understand that? 
And how do I make him understand how badly the IDEA of starting this teaching job hurts me.