Forced to cancel our first vacation??!!

Question

Trying not to cry in anger as I write this. Here we go. I'm graduating college in December, and as a graduation gift, my parents invited me and my SO to go to florida with them (they were planning on going for my mother's golden birthday). This is the first time they have allowed me to invite someone to come with us, and I was very excited to share this experience with my SO. the plan was to go to Florida, Disney world, universal studios, the whole 9 yards. I'm almost positive this will be the last family vacation since I'll be graduated and my parents aren't getting any younger.. 😞

So the trip is in January, at the beginning of my SO's first semester of grad school. He emailed one of his professors and said he was asked to go on a family vacation and literally asked permission if he was allowed to go on this FAMILY vacation. He made it seem like it was optional and no big deal. So of course the professor says it would be "detrimental" if he missed a week of class (the class is 1 hour 3 times a week). Seriously? 3 hours of sitting in class going over a syllabus and learning names or making lifelong memories with loved ones? If it were nearing the end of the semester I would understand but it's literally right at the beginning. So now my SO has decided he can no longer go on this vacation with me or my family. Yet you can bet he'll be at the bars and getting drunk with his buddies when I'm gone. How can I not be furious at him? I understand that school is important but he could have worked around it! I don't know what to do and I can't get over how upset I am. Now I have to break the news to my parents without sobbing. Any advice or input is appreciated but please don't be rude. This was really important to me.

Answer

Since the PROFESSOR  determines your final grade, I think you should respect his words. Also, I think it is selfish of you to expect him to risk his future (yes one class can do that) all in the name of a vacation. You Can still go (and you should), but STOP putting pressure on him or you WILL lose him.

Answer

Some classes will drop you if you don't show up the first week. He may not have a choice. Don't let that stop you from enjoying a vacation with your family though. Sometimes it sucks the way that things work out, but at the end of the day you just push forward.

Answer

He's in GRAD school! That's an amazing accomplishment, not something your gfs family would take precident over. You can still go. Go. Have a good time. But don't hate on him for taking care of responsibilities! Unless he like ends up flunk in out or something, then I'd be annoyed. But seriously. He's making the right call and putting priorities over a vacation.

Answer

It's important to go to class in college. I think he's making the right call, although I can see how disappointed you are and you have every right to be!

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He asked and the answer was no. Get a grip and enjoy your family girl.

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Its not about you. How self centered, to expect him to jeopardize his education for you. Where are your priorities?

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He's in grad school! It's more than a job, it's his future! You sound like you're more worried about him going to bars than he not being able to make it for the trip. I say, these are your parents, and you should enjoy a last trip with them. You should be proud of your husband for making the right decision for his and your future. Support your SO! You shouldn't be mad at the professor bc he's being realistic and skipping a week of grad school is detrimental in most fields of study.

Answer

This is no different than being denied vacation when you're working. Sometimes you just can't do what you want. You go, have a nice time. You can plan family vacations in the future.

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Just this last month my husband and I had to duck out of a family vacation last minute because we both lost people at work and couldn't swing it anymore. And to make matters worse the vacation was to Maine so I was going to cross an item off my bucket list and go around to various Stephen King destinations.

It sucks but when you're an adult sometimes you have to take responsibility and miss out on the fun.

He's missing it because he's working toward a better future. Take a kickass vacation with him when you guys have the time and money.

Answer

Grad school is very expensive-those three hours of class will add up to a lot of money. They will start content about 5-10 minutes into the class, and it would set his graduate career up on a bad note to disregard the professor. 
Also, as lovely as family trips are-they actually are optional and come second to work or school commitments. I would support his choice and see if the family trip could happen a week earlier or over his spring break.

Forced to cancel our first vacation??!!

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