Scared to test?

AF is 5 days late and she's actually been right on schedule the last couple months, which is rare for me. I have crazy irregular periods, so I'm afraid that that is whats happening here. If I test and get the bfn that I always get my hopes are crushed again for another month. If I keep waiting to test it keeps hope alive. After almost 2 years of ttc with every month bringing disappointment I'm hanging pretty hard on this shred of hope. I bought a test sat in the bathroom with it in my hands and couldn't bring myself to open the box. I had a very realistic dream last night about taking the test and it being positive and telling my husband and him being so happy. When I woke up for a split second I thought it was real, and it broke my heart that it wasn't. Am I being ridiculous? Should I just take the test or keep hanging on hope until AF comes?