Shallow ... Having types ... Standards ... ?

Question

Today I was told I am shallow and even the next level up from shallow because I said I have a type of guy I like. I didn't know that that was being shallow. I Always thought of it as having standards and not settling.

I can admit I like tall guys, with brown hair. I have a thing for white guys. BUT all that being said, if I met a guy who didn't have brown hair or wasn't white, I wouldn't look the other way.

I think being physically attracted to someone is a big factor. Yes personality it key but for me I probably wouldn't take the time to get to know someone if they weren't what I thought was attractive. I've always said looks draw me in but personality is what would keep me.

You could be my dream man physically but if your personality is shitty then I'm on to the next. I unfortunately couldn't say the same if it were reversed and I feel like I get judged for that.

I am a very physical person, and it's important to me. Not the most important factor in my relationship but I think you should be physically attracted to your partner or else it just doesn't work.

Tell me I'm shallow of you please, I've heard it all before but I know somebody has got to agree with me.

Answer

My man isn't considered "attractive" by most, and I didn't find him particularly attractive at first, but it didn't stop me wanting to get to know him. As his personality grew on me I began to find him physically attractive. I know it doesn't work that way for all people, and I think it is a bit shallow to disregard someone because they're not up to snuff in the looks department. I'd say just keep your options open. If you meet a nice guy who you're not physically attracted to, cool, you got a friend. If it becomes more than that, awesome.

Answer

If your 'standards' are all based on appearance then I can see why people would think it is shallow.

I think attractiveness changes as you get to know someone.  I knew a guy who when I first met him was gorgeous and would tick every box in terms of appearance.  As I got to know him and learn about his personality the looks definitely faded and in the end I couldn't work out how anyone thought he was good looking. I've had the opposite experience too, with someone I wasn't initially physically attracted to but over time became more and more attractive.

Answer

Shallow would be like not talking to someone unless they made a certain amount a year, you can't help who you're attracted to, and sometimes someone you didn't think you'd go for is the exact one you do.

Answer

I think it's totally, 100% okay to have a preference and to like certain features over others. You can't fight attraction. To me, the shallowness comes from people who REFUSE to date someone or give them a chance because they don't look a certain way despite you really liking their personality. I hope that makes sense. Lol.

Answer

There is *nothing* wrong with standards. Let them call you their petty words. Clearly they don't have high enough standards for themselves to prevent name-calling.

Answer

You're going to be attracted to what you want.

That's such a double standard, like when a guy is attracted to thin women, he's shallow, but a guy who's attracted to heavy women is a saint?

Forget what people think of you and live your life.

Answer

I don't think you're shallow, my husband is like you. He goes for looks then if he likes the personality he stays. Everyone has a type, shallow to me is Looks are the only thing that matter, and you don't just go for looks, you want a good man as well personally wise and that's good.

Answer

Nah I don't think that's shallow. But when it comes to love I think some of the ideals go to the side. You just know what you like. Nothing wrong with that.

Shallow ... Having types ... Standards ... ?

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