losing hope

My hubs and I started this journey over a year ago last July. We conceived in November, but lost our baby at 13 weeks in January. It has been full of numerous ups and downs. I had all sorts of issues after our MC and then the month where things were back to normal with me (June), my hubs came down with Bells Palsy. Ugh. We truly tried this past month. BDing more than ever before. I am now near the time my AF should show and feel like this wasn't our month. I broke down and tested today at 12 DPO...BFN. I'm feeling so down. Defeated. Tired of tracking everything. And I feel like AF is coming. I don't know how much more of this I can handle. I want to have my rainbow baby, but not sure if it is ever going to happen.