Sorry in advance for the length, just gotta get this out.

Hi ladies, feeling pretty down/bummed/confused right now, here's the situation:

Hubby and I have been TTC for almost 3 years, would be his #1 my #3, but my youngest is 10, no prior miscarriages or still births, started trying a few months after having Mirena removed

Diagnosed with endometriosis and PCOS, been thru numerous rounds of Chlomid, endometrial surgery, dye test

In 3 years, never had a hint that we possibly conceived

This cycle we tried Preseed and started using Glow, BD every day of fertile period

On DPO 7, i experienced extreme prolonged dizziness and nausea, so took hpt and it was faint positive, ended up going to er for it, diagnosed vertigo, took another hpt about 12 hours after first when i got home from er, still faint positive (btw er said their test was negative)

Fast forward to today, hpt tests since have been negative, and af came a few days late, started off heavy and tapered off (usually starts light and gets heavier on day 2)

My gut instinct and educated guess tells me this was probably a failed conception aka chemical pregnancy.

I'm so bummed, we've been TTC so long i don't get my hopes up every month anymore, but this month i felt and sensed something, and i actually was hopeful.

I feel some conflicting feelings. On one hand a bit of hope and relief that maybe i can actually still get pregnant. On the other, still feeling like maybe i can't cuz this one didn't make it past the first week before my body made a big deal of killing it (hence the highly unusual severe dizziness and nausea).

And then conflicting feelings of being sad about this and considering it a miscarriage. I mean it wasn't a developing embryo, but it was something. And there are so many women who experience a loss so much father along. I feel bad about feeling bad for myself. But then i feel like i need to allow myself the right to be sad. Idk

Sorry for the long winded venting.

Can anyone relate? Any advice?