Feeling alone

I miscarried for sure two days ago.. Maybe I should say yesterday morning because it was after midnight... I thought I was peeing myself.. I remember thinking how it was "different" for my bladder to be so weak.. I got out of bed and "pee-pee walked" to the bathroom and that's when I noticed all the blood 😢 I was so shocked and hurt.. I was feeling no pain.. I'm heathy I was told the baby was healthy too at the last appointment it was growing fast.. A week ahead.. The blood gushed like water in the toilet before I felt "it" pass and heard it fall in the toilet .. It's gross but I had to see it.. I pulled it out .. It was big I couldn't believe my baby was gone .. We didn't make it to 12 weeks.. Just 11 weeks 3 days.. But it's my fault if I am honest with myself .. I've been so stressed. With my new roommate In the barracks I get no sleep she's so inconsiderate! I've been getting no sleep for weeks and stressing over so much that I killed my baby 😢😢😢. What's worst is I think my husband doesn't care anymore, maybe he's realized it was my fault, or mad at me for not being able to carry our child full term.. Embarrassed his wife miscarried idk.. We cried together the day it happened.. But now even though I'm still so messed up, he seems to have forgotten already.. I feel alone because we haven't been to the hospital yet. I have a appointment on Tuesday to confirm. But I know. I haven't told anyone which makes it hard. I have no one to comfort  me. I try to talk to him and he says he don't know what to say, he doesn't even talk about how it makes him feel if anything.. And people are asking me at work, how's the baby.... Etc etc... I want to break down. But I'm here right now smiling and making jokes like everything is all right ..