My faith is so shaky. I feel like I should be a better christian, but I can't. I've been ttc and nothing. My first child was born prematurely and passed away. I feel like God could have prevented that. I feel like since he didn't do that, that he could at least make me conceiving another easy. God is supposedly love, but I don't feel love. I feel betrayed because we did everything right. We were married and conceived this child out of love ( no I'm not belittling women who conceive outside of wedlock. I'm not saint) but I feel like we didn't deserve this. My life is forever changed for the worse. I feel betrayed. I can't really pray to the person that took my son away from me.