Torturing myself watching

So tonight I have decided to torture myself and watch my favourite programme since my 3rd miscarriage 2 months ago, one born every minute. I love the programme but haven't been able to bring myself to watch it. I will be balling my eyes out but I'll try and get through it! 
Trying to slowly get my self back together with baby related things as I've been avoiding everything!
*baby steps* (no pun intended!)