Fear, is this really happening...

Well today I'm encountering a fear I thought I wouldn't have. AF was supposed to visit this morning and usually the first day is a crime scene but nothing. Not even a spot. Shouldn't I be excited? Shouldn't I go running out the door to get a test? Yet, here I sit at my kitchen table and wonder if it's all going to happen again. Last time I found out I was pregnant and that I miscarried it was the first day of AF visit. My heart bounding out of my chest, tears welling up in my eyes, yet a face of stone to protect my husband just in case. The amount of fear I feel now is nearly unbearable. I want to tell someone close SO BAD but I can't let my family go through the fear as well....