I am so excited for this baby, and I love her with all my heart, but I am so over being pregnant. I had a horrible first trimester with being sick for 4 straight months. Things got easier for a month or two, but at 31 I can't breathe a lot...especially at night when I'm trying to sleep. I wake up gasping for air. My hips feel like they're falling apart...my face is broken out (I've bought special face wash that hasn't helped at all), I have some new stretch marks even though I drink water voraciously and apply bio oil and coconut oil 3 times a day, I feel disgusting in everything I wear and just want to hole up in the house because I'm embarrassed to be seen in public feeling so fat and not put together. I hate when people ask me how I'm feeling or how baby is and i know they're just trying to be nice, I hate when people comment on my belly and how "cute" it is, I hate when they tell me how much they enjoyed being pregnant. I cry everyday and feel depressed. For no reason at all sometimes. I don't feel maternal at all. I feel like a big jerk! I am so incredibly grateful to be pregnant and blessed to have gotten pregnant so easily, and here I am hating every second of it. Honestly, the only thing I truly enjoy is feeling her move and hearing the heartbeat at my doctors appointments, or when my husband comes home at night from work he touches my belly. That's about it.  I also am completely terrified of labor (probably can't get an epidural because of low platelets and I might need a csection as well, not happy about either of these things)...and know my large family will overwhelm me at the hospital. I am super close with my family but I just want it to be me and my husband at the hospital without a waiting room full of people because it just stresses me out, but if I say that I'm a crazy mean person according to my sisters and parents. I don't feel like birth is a beautiful thing and I can't wait to experience it, and I feel like everyone else does..so because I don't, there's something wrong with me. This is a huge dump all of my feelings and everything that I've been thinking for a while now, and I honestly just needed to get it out. I have spoken to my husband and mother about this and they assure me I'll feel normal again soon. My mom tells me she didn't like being pregnant either and tries to relate to me, but it just doesn't help. I have a doctors appointment in a week and will definitely bring it up, maybe I'm depressed? I truly have no idea if feeling like this is normal, and I hate showing any signs of weakness so this has been pretty rough on me. I guess I just needed to get it all out and even typing it helps me to feel a little relief, or like I got a lot of it off of my shoulders. If you've stuck with me this reading this for this long, bless your heart!