Move or Don't move?

Question

Okay ladies... Not your typical question for this app but bare with me. My DH and I were recently married and we are a blended family. Our kids are 5,7&10. I am looking to advance my education and career but it would require us moving from California to Texas for 3-4years. My son would go with us but my step kids would stay with their mom and I know my husband is torn apart by this. As much as I want this to happen it kills me that we are separated from my step kids. Any advice would be appreciated.

Answer

I have 3 children. I would not leave any behind for my spouse, and think it would be selfish of him to ask that of me.

My oldest is 9, I'd consider leaving when she's out of the house, as I have sole custody of my other two.

You signed up to be with him and his kids. You can leave with your son, but I think it's sad of you to think he should follow you

Answer

Why can't you go to school where you live? I got my Masters degree online and it holds the same caliber as my Bachelors that I did on campus. I would go that route or pick a school close to home if you don't want to go online. In the end, a degree is a degree as long as the college is accredited. Don't separate your husband from his kids unnecessarily, there are other options.

Answer

Go with what you think is right on this one, and obviously whatever your husband is comfortable with too.
You are still a person outside of being a Mum and a wife and if a temporary move to progress in an amazing career will make you happy then do it.
It's not like there aren't phones and school holidays to see the kids, I know it will be hard but it's not forever.
I lived in a different state from my dad growing up and it really wasn't that big of a deal for me. I still saw him pretty regularly and spoke to him on the phone a lot, they didn't even have skype back then :)
BTW, certainly not selfish to want a career that is going to help save lives.

Answer

I don't think it's totally selfish to want to further your education and career. But splitting up kids for years at a time, and at such young ages could really mess up their development (not definitely, but things work against you in situations like this). 
I see from other comments that there really isn't a closer location you could go. Could you line up classes to go just one semester a year? So you can move away for a few months, and the whole family doesn't have to relocate. Like take as many classes as you can for fall semester only (and be away from home september-early December. And do the same next year. Not sure how many courses you have to take (can *some be done online or elsewhere, and transfer the credits?)

Answer

I grew up in a blended family and we moved states.  It works out. It's not ideal but if you feel like it's the best move for your family, do it. No one can tell you what's best for your family and that includes all the kids.

Answer

I don't think moving would make you selfish but personally my family will always be placed above all things. Things like moving or big changes that will effect my whole family, I don't take lightly. I feel that when it's right it just works, I don't have to force it to happen or make a sacrifice that would be detrimental to my family and I. When it's not those things and it's easy, then I know it's right. At the end of the day I want to be surrounded by family at my deathbed, not my diplomas.

Answer

You are a family make it as a family ypu can see them on holidays if it is for the better of the family i wouldn't see a problem. I know it would be hard but you have to look at the bigger picture which is your future and what will make the entire families future better.

Answer

I wouldn't year my husband from his kids it's kind of a mean thing to do. I'm sure you couldn't be away from your kids for several years. Either wait until they are older and move out or you go alone and come visit a couple times a year or the holidays. But I would never have him leave his children behind. You have to realize that step mom won't want to be away from her children either so you can't take them with you. You decided to be with him and his Children when you got together, family comes first.

Answer

I don't think any career is worth taking someone from their children for.

Answer

It's not selfish wanting to further your career by study. But I would never ask my DP to leave his children behind. 
I would hold off on study until the kids had moved out & left home or find somewhere closer to them to study

Move or Don't move?

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