Yesterday my husband mentioned his tattoo that he was getting in commemoration of our angel baby Rose, because it has almost been one year. She was born at only 18 weeks 4 days. And I have been a mess ever since. I even opened the box with her pictures and footprints and handprints, I'm really not suppose to open that box. I ugly cried for about 15min and put it away because I am pregnant again and will make myself sick from stress if I do that for too long. 

And I feel like a bad mom for storing pictures of my baby in box in the closet. And I feel pretty undeserving of the opportunity to try again. And I feel like I am just pissing on her memory because we got pregnant again so fast (I am almost 26 weeks this time around).

Does anyone else ever get into this place? And how do I find my way out of here?