Lesbian

Hey! Well, I'm 19 years old. My parents are pastors of an Assembly of God church. I'm a lesbian, but I'm still in the closet. I know if I come out, I'll lose my mom. She does not approve at all. My girlfriend is starting to get pushy with me coming out, and I don't know what to do... Advice?😕
1.6k views • 16 upvotes • 16 comments

COMMENT (16)

Da

Posted at
Tell your girlfriend that it's not her decision. I didn't push my gf when she didn't feel comfortable with coming out. If she wants the best for you, she'll be okay with waiting 

Me

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You shouldn't let someone push you into coming out if you aren't ready don't do it 

An

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Let your partner know that although she means a lot to you, so do your parents, and it is unfair of her to take it personally. She may not see it this way, but reassure her that your decision is nothing to do with your (lack of) feelings for her. Maybe then she will stop pressuring to find a sense of security, because she will already have it. We have to respect everyone's views, just as we could only hope they would accept ours. Your parents are not only from a different generation, but also an incredibly disciplined belief which they hold close to themselves and their identities. I am personally not religious, and I wish that the lgbtq community could have the same rights and acceptance in love and relationships as every other straight identifying person in this world, and we are slowly but surely winning that fight, but for now, you cannot stand to lose your parents, even if they're views are not in agreeance with yours, and your partners. I wish you all the support on this one!

Ch

Posted at
I am also gay with parents who pastor an Assembly of God church. I came out when I was 17, I'm 31 now. My parents kicked me out and our relationship was nonexistent for a couple of years. We still don't have the best relationship but it is way better than I ever thought it would be. The sooner you come out the sooner you can start mending and the sooner you can get a relationship back. It was the hardest thing I ever did but they will find out eventually and living authentically is the best thing you can do. Unfortunately, my parents were more concerned with what people thought about them to love me unconditionally but you can not live a lie forever. It will be a hard road but do not let anyone, even your girlfriend, make the decision for you. You tell them when you get ready. It will be a lot better to come from you than hear you are gay from someone else. 

🔫

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Don't let your girlfriend push you - it's not her decision. Wait until you feel it's time

je

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it's best to come out when you are safe and have a backup plan if things go wrong ex. a place to stay

💖

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It's your decision on when to come out, not hers.

Br

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Well technically it is time to tell your parents once you have moved out of your house. Even though you might loose them you can't live a lie forever. It's not healthy nor is it for your partner. 

Fl

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She should understand that isn't the time for you yet. Tell her that when you are ready you'll ask for her help.The best you can do is wait for your time, if you're not sure about telling your parents, there's no way you'll feel better or free.If you want to talk with sb, here I'm ^^

Ar

Posted at
Breakup with her she clearly doesn't care about you that much tbh