End of a friendship?

Question

I apologize in advance for this potentially being an extremely long post and for any typos!

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This girl and I have been friends for 3 years now and throughout the friendship we have had our ups and downs like any friendship. We are completely different people. Literally, we are night and day but somehow we became and stayed friends for so long.

Anywho, we went on our second "mini-vacation" to Orlando with her cousin as a much needed getaway before her cousin and I started college again. (Keep in mind that the two of them are single and I am not. My friend of 3 years recently got dumped by her boyfriend after them going back and forth for years.) Most of the trip was fine other than the night we went out to a college bar/club. When I go to clubs o never ever dance with guys unless they're apart of the group that I go with. I always politely say no thank you with a smile and just go about my business. Most of the (if not all) night I was being asked to dance and turned down the guys nicely. I talked to a few but went on with my night and every guy respected that. There were some instances where a guy would try to talk to me but I didn't even notice because I was too into the music and dancing by myself to notice the people around me so it came off as rude to my friends cousin. At one point in the night, a guy grabbed onto my arm to dance with him (which is a big NO in my book) and I said no no I'm okay. Thank you smiled and turned around. A song that I love was playing so I went back to dancing and smiling. My friend immediately wanted to move from the section as she felt embarrassed for the guy. The guy didn't seem to mind or care. After all I'm not the only girl in the place for him to dance with. So she became upset and it bothered me because it felt like most of the night she was worried about what I was doing/kept tabs on me saying no to guys. Also keep in mind that a guy that she tried to pursue that night basically turned her down and I could tell her ego / confidence was bruised a bit. Idk if it's because she's used to attention being on her or not when she's back home but the case was different where we were at.

I say all of that to say that we ended up exchanging texts and it got pretty heated. She felt that during a conversation we had on the drive back home that I insulted her (I said that I'm not like her in regards to being extremely friendly with everyone especially guys (bc of my past) and don't add guys or give my number. It WAS wrong of me and I admitted that. I simply explained that I was so frustrated at that point because she made me feel a certain kind of way and didn't even try nor care to understand. It's been a week or so since then and neither of us has spoken. The text conversation got that bad!

I realized that we are completely different people to the point where it just won't work but am saddened by that due to the fact that despite everything we did have a solid friendship or so I thought. She was basically one of the few friends that I have but don't think that a friendship where you both feel like you can't 100% be yourself because you know the other person is a certain way.

Have any of you had to end a long friendship only to have one incident or a few things happen so you see that the friendship end because of it? What did you do to deal with the fallout of someone who you were extremely close to?

Answer

I'm sorry this is happening 😕 I have to say though, your friendship isn't necessarily over. My best friend and I had a good MONTH where we didn't talk, and when we did it was snarky and passive aggressive, and quite frankly it hurt both of us a lot. We had never gotten into any type of argument before, so it was a huge deal for us to not talk for that long. But we worked had time to cool down, talked it out, and now we are closer than ever. Don't give up yet!

Answer

Friends come and go. It doesn't make you a bad person or mean you're bad at friendships if they fail. Sometimes they just run their course and there's nothing that can be done about it. It sounds to me like this has occurred. 
It hurts and you'll grieve. But you'll also move on to new friendships. 
Look after yourself as you move forward ❤️

Answer

Friendship means respect for eatch other and for eatch other options... Its not to her to decide weather you dance or not, or date or whatever... So let time show how you both feel about this and if your friendship is real it will join you both again.

Answer

Lol i had a friend since daisy girl scouts (age 4).. 21 years later we disagreed on something. Made me realize we were different. I ended up Saying "im never gonna agree with you, youre never gonna agree with me. Lets agree to disagree or go our separate ways." haven't spoken to her since and im not all that broken up

Answer

you're allowed to feel however you feel about it and she's allowed to feel however she feels about it. If things got that heated where you guys can't get past it, then the friendship really wasn't that strong to begin with. If You have any desire to save this friendship, you need to talk to her again and tell her that you accept how she feels about it and that you're sorry for insulting her and she needs to do the same for you. You also need to be very clear that she needs to accept you how you are and you're not going to change your self. If she doesn't like that you turn down guys at a club, that's her problem that she needs to deal with on her own because there's nothing you can do to change how you feel about that type of situation. She needs to be OK with that if you are her friend.

I've had a friendship end over one situation. I just accepted that we were not meant to be friends and moved on with my life. I miss her at times, but I can't be someone I'm not. I do wtf I want to do and if it's not harming anyone it's not her place to judge me or fix me... friends should be less judgemental and more accepting.

Answer

It kinda seemed like she was jealous that u was getting all the attention there n probably the guy she wanted to dance with told her no n he came to u not knowing that y'all were friends n let him down n she felt like she wasn't pretty enough bc without u she got the attention but with u around it was like she didn't even exist but hey girl if she is going to get mad at that stuff yalls friendship wasn't meant to b then I'll grief over it a bit but u will find someone else

Answer

I'm sorry you lost a friend. I had a major fallout with a friend but that was back in high school so I got over it pretty easily by just hanging out with other people. But my best friend just ended a friendship about a year ago and I know she is still kind of bummed about it. But they were just too different for it to work and the breaking point was when this girl actually caused a scene at Em's wedding rehearsal over what number she was in line (of the bridal party). She felt that she should be closer to the front and made a big deal about it so we had to rearrange the bridal party. After that my friend was like I can't handle this chick in my life. I know it sucks but hopefully you have other friends you can spend time with.

Answer

I recently ended a friendship and I feel your pain. It sounds to me that she doesn't respect your boundaries and comfort level. If you didn't want to dance with anyone, that was your choice and she's a shitty friend for making you feel bad about it. If you really want to try and save the friendship, you could explain that to her and say that you are sorry for your part and you want to move past it. See what she says. However, if you are just content to let the relationship expire, that's okay too. You'll be okay and it'll get easier. Good luck.

Answer

I've had a few really close friendships end, I've never thought friendships were something you need to fight for or work at, that's more for intimate relationships. Mostly they ended because they decided to hit on my boyfriend at the time, abuse my hospitality, or we just grew apart. You'll find more people you're compatible with that will understand you and you won't have to tiptoe around.

End of a friendship?

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