Do I have depression?

I would like to start out my saying I have extreme anxiety with doctors or even calling to make an appointments and it keeps me from talking to a doctor about my issues. Some days I feel as though the air around me is just heavier and it makes me feel hopeless, broken or empty and can cause any difficult situation to cause a huge bawling melt down and sometimes makes me just lay in bed even when I want to go out with friends. Most days my amazingly understanding boyfriend who always takes care of me will smother me in kisses and I feel nothing. By that I mean I don't feel loved or joy or happiness just nothing. Im really just looking for any answer to why I feel this way.