Im not sure if what happened to me qualifies as rape or something but I definitely feel what rape victim describe as feeiling after, when i was younger my brothers friend would hit me all the time and threaten me and if I didn't do what he said he'd hurt me, and after awhile when I'd just comply and stop being stubborn he started asking me for sexual favors which i was afriad to deny, and for a few years i would let him touch me and see me naked and stuff like that (i was 11 when this started), after a few years he talked me into sex, i said no a few times but he badgered me into it and I was still scared that he might hurt me if i said no, so it happened, and it haunts me to this day, also months after that incident my manager from my first job used his power over me to get in my pants as well, and that haunts me as well, again I technically said yes but i said no a few times first and everythig from my tone to my body language and my past answers said no, i was so scared to lose my job over it so i just let it happen a few times before i got the courage to tell him to stop and to report him to Human Resources. I said yes to both so it's my fault right?